The Inner Child

 

Today, Fatma was feeling restless and wanted to do something different. She decided to go to a nearby park, sit on a bench, and simply observe her surroundings. Her eyes first landed on a little girl sitting with her mother on a bench in the corner. Dressed in a pink-ribboned dress, she looked adorable at first glance. She chattered endlessly, jumping from one topic to another, while her mother just held her close, occasionally kissing her. A little girl who never stopped talking and always wanted something… Fatma then turned her head to the other side of the park, where a young boy caught her attention. He would jump off the swing, hop on his skateboard, and then rush to the seesaw—all within moments. His father, out of breath, ran after him, trying to keep up. Watching these two different parent-child dynamics, Fatma wondered: What do these relationships represent in our own lives?

 

She drifted into deep thought… Parents—at least, most of them—are calmer and more knowledgeable about life than their children. Meanwhile, children are endlessly curious, always wanting to explore, without considering whether something might be harmful. They often say things like, “I want it! I’m bored!” and demand instant gratification. Conscious parents, however, try to provide only what is beneficial. Others might say, “Well, if the child wants it, let’s get it. It’ll satisfy their cravings.” Perhaps that was what set parents apart—awareness.

 

But wasn’t it her own restlessness that had driven her outside today? Why did people get bored, anyway? It was as if there was a little child inside her, stirring restlessly. There was no actual child to take care of, yet something within her was craving attention—wanting to go out, shop, meet friends, do something. Some of her friends would say, “I’ll curb my cravings with something sweet.” Others would say, “I’ll treat myself to a movie.” And then it struck her. The restless child in the park had a counterpart in all of us. That child within us is our ego.

The chatty little girl in the pink dress, the restless boy running from one activity to another, and the patient parents who didn’t get angry at them… We all have an unruly little child inside us. Sometimes we indulge it, sometimes we hold back. At times, we spoil it, giving in to its every whim—only to realize later that we can no longer control it. The more we satisfy it, the more it demands, playing us like puppets. And sometimes, we just get so tired of its constant demands that we try to silence it with distractions—handing it a phone, offering a piece of chocolate, anything to make it stop.

 

The more time a parent spends giving in to their child’s demands, the more likely they are to spiral into an endless cycle—like a shopper who can’t stop buying things. The same happens with us. When we let our ego take control, we become driven purely by impulses. Before we know it, we’re hopping from one shopping spree to another, mindlessly consuming.

 

The Experiential Design Teachings says:  "Consciousness and ego work in opposition." We either make decisions with awareness or let our ego take over. If our ego overpowers our awareness, we lose control.

And so, we lose to that child within us.

But when is a child at their most lovable?

When they’re quietly engaged in something, without making demands. That’s when we say they’re smart, well-behaved, mature.

Isn’t it the same for us? Perhaps by understanding how we nurture the children around us, we can also learn to guide the inner child within.

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