‘A tight life is good, my child!’ said mum Mrs Zeynep
- What are you saying, Mum, I'm bored. Can you please give me
my tablet?
- I can't, finish your homework, help me a bit, then...
- In the old days, you'd give it to me right away.
What's going on with you?
Days, weeks, years were passing like this in Merve's life.
There was not a day that she did not negotiate with her mother to use the phone
or tablet. She was terrified that she would be free for an hour, and she wanted
to spend that time with the activities that would entertain her the most. She
postponed her responsibilities and complained constantly. Her mother was very
bored with this situation. ‘What did I do wrong and why did this child turn
out like this?’ she kept lamenting. As a matter of fact, there was no
visible mistake. She had even quit her job to take a closer interest in her
daughter. Until Merve started primary school, her daughter was her only focus.
She didn't have other children so that she wouldn't be distracted. She did not
miss any of Merve's needs and constantly tried schools for her education. None
of them were good enough for her, she wanted everything to be perfect.
When Merve was a baby, her mother enrolled her in play
groups. Every hour was programmed and the next activity was known. She also
shopped to feed her daughter with the most natural foods. If she couldn't eat
salmon on the planned day, Mrs Zeynep couldn't sleep that night. She didn't
mind if her own sleep was disturbed, but if Merve's sleep pattern was disturbed
for a day, she was in a bad mood. If her own tooth ached, she could wait for a
while, but she never missed Merve's dental check-ups. She almost never wore
what she wore once. She bought the most beautiful dresses from the best quality
stores for her precious daughter. Her birthday was celebrated every month until
she was one year old; “birth month”. In the following years, preparations
started two months before her birthday and special concepts were determined.
The costumes of whichever character Merve wanted to be were bought and all her
classmates were invited.
She was taking Merve to a psychologist when she was only
eight years old. 'What if she has a problem and I didn't realise?' she thought.
Before Merve could say “I'm bored”, she would organise everything. Sometimes
she would take her to the playground in a shopping centre and sometimes to the
cinema with her friends. If the weather was nice, they would have a picnic,
prepare their favourite foods and go for ice cream on the way home. Despite all
this, on the way home in the evening, Merve would find something to be upset
about and sometimes burst into tears. Zeynep Hanım was astonished and
apologised to her daughter, finding the blame on herself every time. She had to
respect her daughter's self-identity and understand her well for her personal
development. Sometimes she would think: "What was she upset about now with
so many opportunities? Or was she just spoilt? No, why would she do such a
thing. She was definitely doing something incomplete." she used to lament.
After her infancy and childhood, Merve was gradually approaching her teenage years. Mrs Zeynep no longer had as much strength, patience and endurance as before. Because she would do all these things in childhood, and Merve would manage herself when she grew up. Mrs Zeynep would even return to her job and continue to work on her career again. None of it happened as she planned.
Merve was used to her mother thinking of everything and
having fun every day. When she was left alone, she was in a mess. If she was
going somewhere with her friends, her mother had to plan and even take her to
the destination. When she came home, her food should be ready, and if she got
bored, her mother should immediately think of something new. She did not know
how to live otherwise. How does one find solutions when one is bored? What can she do in terms of production when she is idle? How
to plan on one's own? If there is no food at home, what is the most practical
way to prepare it? She did not know what she really needed in life, she was in
a hurry when she was bored.
Finally, Mrs Zeynep had had enough. She was not interested in her daughter as
much as before and did not listen to her complaints. Merve, on the other hand,
went to her room every chance she got and either played with her tablet or
watched TV in the living room. How would she tolerate being bored without these
entertainers?
The Experiential Design Teaching states: ‘One of the most
important things that develops a person is the management of boredom.’
The ego of the human being wants
to consume and get pleasure. However, if there is production, there is the
right to consume. With boredom, the desire for production increases,
consciousness works more efficiently. If we distract the mind with something
every time we are bored, after a while we will not be able to enjoy production.
That's why: ‘Tight life is good.’
Hoping to be one of those who can be bored and enjoy it…
Experiential Design Teaching is a body of knowledge that develops strategies to design our future based on pastexperiences.
Through seminars like “Who’s Who,” “MasteringRelationships,” and “The Psychology of Success,” it equipsthose seeking happiness and fulfillment with practical tools to overcome challenges and reach their goals.
“The one thing in life that’s never fully discovered is: Better…”
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